Being too attached can turn into pain

　

    As a human being lived in the world, we are more or less attached to something; during school, some people are very clinging to their academic performance, and they often argue for higher exam scores from the grading teacher; when we are young, some people are very attached to love, or when some people choose their spouse, they are clinging to that the spouse must match some certain conditions and then they are willing to get married; after finding job, they become attach to things such as salary, social status, house, car, etc. In order to meet their own standards, they work hard for making money, even if they are very tired or exhausted, for the sake of what they are attached to, they have to endure it; some other people cling to their own reputation, even if they need to live with a mask, they still have to shape their external image.

　

    The matter of "attachment" has so many aspects, which are cunningly hidden in everyone's daily life. We may even mistake certain attachments for granted. Sometimes, when we look back, we realize that we care too much about the gain or loss of certain things, and the things that we are unable to let go of are actually so insignificant. And what is the reason for attachment? To make us suffer "willingly" just for achieving these attached goals? According to the Buddhist point of view, "attachment" is a kind of greed for self; try to think about it, most of the things we are attached to are originated from "I" —— "my" achievements, "my" spouse, "My" wealth, "my" reputation……and it even extends to other things related to the “I” —— "my" child's grades, "my" child's marriage, "my" company's turnover,  the reputation of "my" country...…etc.; because they are related to "I", we do everything possible to make these things go according to our own plans and ideas; so "attachment" makes people want to control and occupy the things around them.

　

    In fact, being too attached will bring us pain, not only because the things we are attached to cannot always be controlled by us in the way we want; but also, after we have these things such as fame, wealth, love, etc. We will become afraid of losing them, so how to maintain these things will form a kind of pressure in daily life. Although we don’t like pressure, we either can’t let go of our attachment to these things, so day after day, we are overwhelmed by ourselves, but helpless.

　

    However, having said so much about the disadvantages of "attachment", but, from the opposite side, "non-attachment" may also represents a negative attitude, which means that you don't care about everything, are inattentive, and cannot persist in doing one thing well ; Besides, it is not easy for a person to be completely non-attached to everything. Therefore, Buddhism provides a solution: it is the "middle way" —— a solution between "too attached" and "non-attached", that is, we can "attach" to certain things, but not "too attached", or, in other words, we can "don't care" about certain things but also can not "don't care completely", this is the concept of "middle way"; as for how deep to achieve this "middle way", it needs to be handled carefully.

　

    To actually use the "middle way" (it is ok to be attached, but do not to be too attached), most people are accustomed to using the "attachment" side, but to use the other side of "non-attachment", we must have some skills. How to make us "not to be too attached"? We can try to look at things from a "lifetime perspective". When a person grows older and looks back at the persistence of his young age, he may feel that the situation is light and not so serious. If we view things such as wealth, love, and fame from the perspective of life: no one can take them with himself after he dies, so, if we think about it that way, there's nothing needed to calculate too much. The second is to see clearly the fact that "attachment will bring pain". When we desperately want to get what we are attached to, but can't get it, the process is indeed a torment. After we have gotten it, we always fear losing it; that’s another kind of annoyance. So in a broad sense, "attachment" is painful. Finally, and the most effective way, is to understand that "everything is illusory." The ancients once said, "Life is like a dream." Yes, our life is like a dream. In the dream, everything seems so real, but, after we wake up, there is nothing. The detailed arguments are deeply explained in Buddhism. If someone can fully understand this point of view, attachment and non-attachment will no longer puzzle him.