How to use "non-self" to solve emotional problems in life

 　

    The existence of "I" is the driving force for the survival of all beings in the world. In order to satisfy the “self” and the various desires of "self", there are all beings and the happiness, anger, sorrow and joy of all beings which appear in the world. However, when the idea of ​​"self" is too strong, it often brings troubles and disasters to all living beings. From the common case —— the pains caused by emotions in life to the serious case —— wars between countries in the world, they happen all because of that people are too attached with the self and the individual.

　

    The opposite concept of "self" is "non-self." Sometimes, when the idea of ​​"self" is too strong, the idea of ​​"non-self" should be used to balance it. What is the so-called "non-self"? It is that "I" does not really exist; some people will be confused: "I" does not exist? So who is the person reading the article now? Who is the person that eats and sleeps in life every day? According to Buddhism, the existence of "I" is a false perception; sentient beings think that there is a living "I" that dominates our behavior, speech, and various thoughts, but in fact, we are all deceived by this illusion; If we practice according to the Buddha's teachings, we will eventually discover the truth of "non-self".

　

    Why change the idea of ​​"self" into "non-self"? The key point is here: because the idea of ​​"self" is the source of all our pain and annoyance. Think about it carefully, isn't our life all created for "self"? "I" want to live, so I work to make money; "I" want shelter from the wind and rain, so I buy a house; "I" want to strengthen my ability to earn a living, so I go to school; "I" want entertainment, so I watch TV, see movies, or surf the Internet…..., the starting point of all behaviors, in the final analysis, is for "self", but this "self" has never been satisfied: I want more money after I have some money, I want a house after I have a car. I want more delicious food after I have some food…... As a result, pain and annoyance are born.

　

    Having said so much, in fact, I want to explain why "non-self" can solve the emotional problems in life. When there are bad emotions, try to think with the "non-self" point of view. It is likely that those annoyances will disappear much faster and more effective than other methods.

　

    When we have disputes with others or when something goes wrong and makes ourselves very angry, we can think of it this way: The self who has been violated or hurt by others does not exist. The "self" who is angry and wants to protect himself or change the status is an illusion; since there is no "self", let all the annoyances of shit go! Perhaps, when we think like this, anger will still continue to spring up, or when we stop thinking like this, we immediately become angry again; at this time, we must maintain confidence in this "non-self" method and continue to strengthen this kind of thinking. After practicing again and again, we will definitely be able to gradually stop feeling so angry about those irritating things.

　

    In fact, not only can we use "non-self" to relieve anger; when we find ourselves in chaos and irritability and want to stabilize our emotions, or when our jealousy arises and we want to do something to destroy others’ success, but also we can use “non-self” to control our behavior. Sometimes there is a strong desire to do something and it is difficult to be relieved, or when we want to use improper extreme means to solve the problem, we can think of it like this: the happiness brought by those desires and means are short-lived , It will disappear soon, and the "self" who enjoys those short-term happiness does not exist. It is really unnecessary to do these things for this non-existent "self", and they are not the way to bring real happiness. Slowly use "non-self" to convince yourself and the desires and bad thoughts will gradually subside. When we are in pain or suffering a major blow, when we feel sad because we are disappointed in love or our family has passed away, or when we are very worried about something, we can also use the idea of ​​"non-self" to restore our state to normal.

　

    Finally; when we are in bad luck or in bad moods, it is of course very good to be able to use "non-self" to solve the problem; however, when we are successful, overwhelmed by fame and fortuneand they makes us get carried away or overly proud, we should also use the idea of "non-self” to balance them and prevent us from extreme joy begetting sorrow.

　

    The idea of ​​"non-self" can effectively solve all kinds of annoyances and emotional problems. As long as we continue to practice and strengthen our understanding of "non-self", we can eventually reach the state of eliminating all pain. Make up your mind to give it a try! You will find that the effects described in this article are not exaggerated at all!